Nursing Strike

Have you experienced nursing strike before?

Well, I sure did.

What I felt throughout that period was totally indescribable. I felt exasperated, hopeless, sad, confused, scared, all jumbled into one. Just imagining it happening again made me cringed with fear (and I am totally not exaggerating about this. Believe me.)

The strike began so abruptly, without any hint from Haifa herself and I am not prepared at all, physically or mentally, although I had a tiny bit of knowledge about it while reading about breastfeeding.

It all started just two days before Hari Raya Haji. 

As usual I am working on that particular day and I nursed Haifa like always at the wee hours in the morning before I totally wake up and prepared for work. It had been our routine since like forever. That session will be her last taste of my breast milk before I sent her to her granny until I come back from work. Around 6 when I arrived, the first thing we will do was to snuggle, gomol sana gomol sini and straight to breastfeeding!

But on that very eve, she refused. I was a bit surprised but all I can do was to follow her lead. I let her go, letting her to play around a bit. Around 7 I pick her up and positioned her on my lap to breastfeed, although I didn’t really offer my breast. Usually if she wanted to nurse, she will automatically turn her head towards me with her mouth opened wide.

Instead she was unhappy about it and started to struggle - like, REALLY struggling - until I let her sat on the floor. Then she started crawling again, playing around, picking up things… All I can do was to observe her while fidgeting every now and then, thinking she is getting hungrier by the minute. My gut tell me maybe I should try feed her her regular formula instead (since she refused expressed milk - be it fresh or chilled or frozen - ages ago).

And I was right. As if on cue she started crying sadly (out of hunger I believe) and I quickly pick her up and for the last time, my mind was saying - try to breastfeed again. Guess what? She screamed her head off that I, in utter chaos and panic, shoved the prepared milk into her mouth. Thankfully no damages done and she drinks greedily. T_T

So many thoughts crossed my mind as she drinks. What did I do wrong? Is she having stuffed nose? Am I too busuk to held her close? Are my milk getting spoilt inside? Did I eat something she doesn’t like today? Is she having an ear infection? What should I do in this kind of situation?

I was too occupied with my thought that I didn’t even notice Haifa slept after finishing her milk. Slowly I put her down and went outside and started to cook for dinner (perut hubby kena jaga jugak dalam stress pun kannn). Sometime later I heard Haifa cries and I ran into the room and quickly try to nurse but she refused even in slumber! I grew so frustrated that I ended up waking her up somehow. Pujuk pujuk menangis jugak, and I think I had enough so I gave her to hubby and asked him to play with her while I make her her milk.

Hubby was surprised but didn’t say anything, maybe he got scared looking at my pissed off face. LOL. But anyway, I had to pump that night, and I can still remember what hubby told Haifa while I did.

Kenapa Haifa taknak minum susu mak ni? Tengok, kesian mak kena pam malam-malam macam ni…

And all she did was crawl near me and started to get a hold on my Harmony. -_-;; She thought it was a toy, perhaps.

After bedtime, I woke up twice, having to travel all the way to our kitchen to make her milk throughout the night. It was a nightmare. XD

The next day.

She refused again so I had to tell granny (when I sent her over) to make her milk before 8 because the last time she drank was around 6 a.m. I was getting worried more than ever because that eve we are travelling back to my hometown to celebrate raya and I can’t even imagine how to make her sleep/tame her during the 3 hours journey if she refused to breastfeed!

The dreaded moment came, and as I expected, the strike is still on. I was about to cry along when she just refused to sleep even after finishing her regular milk. She tried to crawl inside our little Myvi and of course I didn’t let her, dangerous la kan… She cried and cried and not knowing what to do, I hold her tight and start rocking her to sleep.

After 10 long minutes and endless zikir, she finally slept much to our relief. Hubby was so close of getting headache that I pitied him having to drive for a long journey with such rackets. Huhu.

The strike continues at my hometown but luckily mom was there to help me cope (with stress and frustration).If she wasn't around, I don't know what will happen to the three of us. +.+

I woke up a panda on Hari Raya, which was, totally not cool.

After breakfast we all gathered in front of tv (tak pergi beraya pun, jiran habis balik kampong and our relatives all lives in Perak Tengah, so go figure). Haifa was in her baju kurung crawling here and there, up and down the tilam we bentang in the living hall. At least she was in a good mood, I thought.

All of sudden she made this mengada-ngada sound, which I usually associated with nak menyusu, so I main-main and pick her up, gomol gomol sayang sayang then ever slowly proceed to breastfeed.

Alhamdulillah! She didn’t refused but gladly accepted my offer and started nursing. All worries gone now, that eve I was so excited that hubby just geleng kepala je tengok. Haha.

I had a tiny weeny worry though, questioning myself if the strike was really over. Few nursing session passed and I knew it is. Thank God!

Few days later I spotted two white things emerged from her upper gum! No wonder lahhhhhh – was my first reaction.

She was teething, sakit agaknya so she refused to nurse. Maybe she preferred the bottle because she can rub her gum with ‘harder’ rubber nipple as compared to mine la kan. Haifa... Haifa. Mak stress sampai tak enjoy raya. Haha.

Anyway, keys to survive nursing strike.

1. Don’t give up.

2. Don’t wait until your baby is hungry to try breastfeeding (as I did. BIG mistake because she will be VERY upset by then and refused even more).

3. Talk to doctor if she doesn’t even want to take the bottle. She may have trouble swallowing because of an ear infection.

4. Don’t malas malas or forget to express your milk because not pumping will greatly affect your milk supply.

5. Give your baby more attention, you are frustrated, yes, but don’t express it to your baby by screaming or marah-marah. If it is too much for you to handle, ask your husband or someone else to feed your baby.

6. Try nursing without distraction and at a different room with relaxing and quite ambience.

7. Or try nursing when she’s sleepy (doesn’t work for me, but may work for you).

Cik Atun: Happy nursing!