Jealousy
Jealousy is a very funny thing. I wasn't someone who just get jealous over something easily. And yet, the trait doesn't come easily. It took a whole lot of bittersweet experiences [mainly bitter ones, trust me] to overcome this destructive behavior.
What a dramatic entry opening 'sequence'. LOL.
Anyway. Actually, when I was wayyyy younger [read 14-16 years old], I was a very hot-tempered young woman. I was angry for nothing, sceptical about every single thing in the world. And I was naturally a green-eyed monster as well.
One day, I 'fell' for a super cute guy [or that was what I perceived him as at that time]. Let's call him Mr. Crush. I like him, very much so. And when I heard news of someone else, from my batch, like him too... I was jealous. For what, I myself wasn't very clear now... but I remember being so green with envy spoilt the relationship between me and that particular friend.
If I could turn back time...
I would never changed everything that had happened anyway. Haha~ Funny, because I think this certain experience shaped up the person I became. Me.
But if I was given the opportunity, I would love to travel back. Just to look at myself years back, from afar. Just wanted to see how naive I was back then.
I would love to hug myself too, even though I was almost 100% positive that the 'me' at that time would be so freaked out seeing this chubby-full-of-fat-me from the future. Heheh.
Ok. Back to the story. I was so jealous, I didn't talk to the friend, and she didn't talk to me as well anyway. Until one day, I overheard some folks talking... Apparently Mr. Crush had his own crush.
So my heart was shuttered into a thousand pieces hearing the unexpected news. Funny thing is, I didn't not felt any jealousy towards the crush he was having. Again, I wasn't entirely sure why.
But I liked him anyway. For 4 freaking long years.
On one fine day, all the feelings pent up inside were neutralised. I don't know how time did it, but it was done anyway. All the bitterness, the jealousy, the attraction, it was all gone. Vanished into the thin air.
Thinking about it now, I knew by heart that I would never, ever regretted things I had done or said regarding this 'Mr. Crush'. He was one of the memories I held dear in my heart. After all, he was the first person I was attracted to, as a woman, I thought, at that point of time.
Alas, God had better future laid out for me.
Fate is really a funny thing. I let go of Mr. Crush [he never did hold on to me anyway] and rediscover the tall, lanky guy who sat literally next to me for the whole year of 2000 wasn't any ordinary tall and lanky guy.
Who would had ever imagine, in their wildest dream, that he would be my beloved husband?
I NEVER had imagined that. To be perfectly honest.
Why? Because he was seeing another at that time. I was still as amused as ever even while typing this. He got his own story too... and it was even more complicated than mine. LOL
Ok. End of flashback. Enter end of year 2010, precisely on 30th December 2010. I am En. Q rightfully wedded wife. He is my rightful husband.
Now that's established... we went to Jusco just to see how much they slashed the price for the new year celebration. And we were not even amused. Especially me, who felt a little nauseous because of the amount of people occupying per meter square of the shopping mall floor. Plus their respectives smell too. T_T
Anyway, it was late. We would not make it home for Asar prayers so we decided to pray before we went back. As usual, En. Q finished his before I did, because when I walked out of the surau he was already waiting.
He held out his hand and I took it. With a happy smile on my face, of course. Then suddenly I noticed there's a small, cute woman who was directly in front of us. She was smiling so widely I wonder if her muscle doesn't get twisted by the effort.
And from my point of view she was smiling hugely at my husband!
I was so tempted to ask En. Q,
But the question wasn't raised because we walked passed her. I was like, okayyyy, clutched his arm tightly and walked away. Then suddenly...
I literally felt my blood boiled. I turned around, forcing En. Q to stop. I looked at the woman in question and was about to say somehing when another man approached her with an arguably huge smile on his face.
En. Q asked.
I looked at him. I knew I frowned.
Because I just discovered the green-eyed monster in me again. This time, it was even more powerful than ever. [Sigh] So I told En. Q.
He frowned for short seconds and smiled his usual charming smile.
I won't deny your claim dear husband, because it was the truth.
But unfortunately, you are my husband now, not my 'boyfriend' anymore, so I have the right to get jealous whenever I felt like having the fit. Okay?
Jealousy is indeed a funny thing.
Blergghhhh.
Cik Atun: Feels like typing in English. I never thought my skill was deterioting this bad!
What a dramatic entry opening 'sequence'. LOL.
Anyway. Actually, when I was wayyyy younger [read 14-16 years old], I was a very hot-tempered young woman. I was angry for nothing, sceptical about every single thing in the world. And I was naturally a green-eyed monster as well.
One day, I 'fell' for a super cute guy [or that was what I perceived him as at that time]. Let's call him Mr. Crush. I like him, very much so. And when I heard news of someone else, from my batch, like him too... I was jealous. For what, I myself wasn't very clear now... but I remember being so green with envy spoilt the relationship between me and that particular friend.
If I could turn back time...
I would never changed everything that had happened anyway. Haha~ Funny, because I think this certain experience shaped up the person I became. Me.
But if I was given the opportunity, I would love to travel back. Just to look at myself years back, from afar. Just wanted to see how naive I was back then.
I would love to hug myself too, even though I was almost 100% positive that the 'me' at that time would be so freaked out seeing this chubby-full-of-fat-me from the future. Heheh.
Ok. Back to the story. I was so jealous, I didn't talk to the friend, and she didn't talk to me as well anyway. Until one day, I overheard some folks talking... Apparently Mr. Crush had his own crush.
So my heart was shuttered into a thousand pieces hearing the unexpected news. Funny thing is, I didn't not felt any jealousy towards the crush he was having. Again, I wasn't entirely sure why.
But I liked him anyway. For 4 freaking long years.
On one fine day, all the feelings pent up inside were neutralised. I don't know how time did it, but it was done anyway. All the bitterness, the jealousy, the attraction, it was all gone. Vanished into the thin air.
Thinking about it now, I knew by heart that I would never, ever regretted things I had done or said regarding this 'Mr. Crush'. He was one of the memories I held dear in my heart. After all, he was the first person I was attracted to, as a woman, I thought, at that point of time.
Alas, God had better future laid out for me.
Fate is really a funny thing. I let go of Mr. Crush [he never did hold on to me anyway] and rediscover the tall, lanky guy who sat literally next to me for the whole year of 2000 wasn't any ordinary tall and lanky guy.
Who would had ever imagine, in their wildest dream, that he would be my beloved husband?
I NEVER had imagined that. To be perfectly honest.
Why? Because he was seeing another at that time. I was still as amused as ever even while typing this. He got his own story too... and it was even more complicated than mine. LOL
Ok. End of flashback. Enter end of year 2010, precisely on 30th December 2010. I am En. Q rightfully wedded wife. He is my rightful husband.
Now that's established... we went to Jusco just to see how much they slashed the price for the new year celebration. And we were not even amused. Especially me, who felt a little nauseous because of the amount of people occupying per meter square of the shopping mall floor. Plus their respectives smell too. T_T
Anyway, it was late. We would not make it home for Asar prayers so we decided to pray before we went back. As usual, En. Q finished his before I did, because when I walked out of the surau he was already waiting.
He held out his hand and I took it. With a happy smile on my face, of course. Then suddenly I noticed there's a small, cute woman who was directly in front of us. She was smiling so widely I wonder if her muscle doesn't get twisted by the effort.
And from my point of view she was smiling hugely at my husband!
I was so tempted to ask En. Q,
Do you know her?
But the question wasn't raised because we walked passed her. I was like, okayyyy, clutched his arm tightly and walked away. Then suddenly...
Awak..!!!
I literally felt my blood boiled. I turned around, forcing En. Q to stop. I looked at the woman in question and was about to say somehing when another man approached her with an arguably huge smile on his face.
Awak kenapa?
En. Q asked.
I looked at him. I knew I frowned.
Because I just discovered the green-eyed monster in me again. This time, it was even more powerful than ever. [Sigh] So I told En. Q.
Orang ingat perempuan tu senyum kat sayang.
He frowned for short seconds and smiled his usual charming smile.
Sebab tu ke awak toleh tengok die tadi? Awak ni... sebelum ni tak pernah jeles pun.
I won't deny your claim dear husband, because it was the truth.
But unfortunately, you are my husband now, not my 'boyfriend' anymore, so I have the right to get jealous whenever I felt like having the fit. Okay?
Jealousy is indeed a funny thing.
Blergghhhh.
Cik Atun: Feels like typing in English. I never thought my skill was deterioting this bad!
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